time to journal...i guess

Well, June is here and I desperately need a vacation. Not just time off or a day thing somewhere, but a full-on vacation. I worked over spring break and even my Christmas break was anything but a break, as I had to help take care of my grandma, so I REALLY need an escape. I don't get paid near enough for what I do at work and that doesn't help things in any way. I'm trying to come up with ideas for a trip. Maybe alone, maybe not...not sure yet. I think I'm going to get a park sticker to go to nearby lakes for mini-escapes to do some writing throughout the summer. I know we're going to IA in July, but that's in some ways a "we always do this" kinda thing.
I've noticed something about myself lately. I'm having anger in ways I haven't before--at least not in any sort of recent history. I'm getting intensely angry about things and holding on to that anger, despite how much I hate it. I'm typically so easy going and kind so it's a total change for me and I hope it's temporary. I shock myself at how big it can get lately. I feel every cell ready to burst and I just want to scream or something.
My yard is looking swell. The peonies bloomed, as did the irises, pink roses, and dianthus ('pinks'). My yuccas, sunsprite rose, love rose, and daylilies are just on the verge of blooming and the mums and tiger lilies like to hold out until the latter part of summer. Feeding the birds, filling their bath, doing yard work, watering the flowers, etc helps me to relax. Even mowing can be therapeutic at times. I'm definately an outdoors guy when it comes to getting in touch with me and with my 'center'. Except today, when a snake sped across my path and went up the water spout on the gutter...creepy bastard.
A publishing company in NE is putting together a book of Nebraska poetry and I'm going to submit my work if I'm eligible. The editor has not responded to my questions yet and the stuff is due in July, so I'm getting torked. It would mean so much to have my stuff in a hardback book of my state's poets...called something like "Poetry of the Plains" or something. Since the US poet laureate is from NE, it would be an ideal time to get my work out there and share in this time.
Basically, I have tons to say, but not sure how to say it all. Maybe I'll update more...who knows. Just contemplating so much lately and I think it's the lack of resolution of many of the questions/issues that is making me stressed.

Laterz,
SB

Song of the Day: "Scream" by Peace of Mind. I never heard this until literally right now...I typed Song of the Day and this came on Launchcast and fits the blog...strangeness y'all...