Shopping and connected trauma

Just decided this would be a valid post. Today I went shopping. Now, it's known that it's not a 'guy thing', but for me, shopping always sucks when it's for myself. For some reason, I always feel guilty and get major buyer's remorse when I buy anything. Today, a mall I like had its only store-wide clearance day, so I was excited. Turned out to be more promotional propaganda than actual deals, but I did get some great stuff. For example, 3 cool t-shirts for about $16 total. 2 involve music and the other is just cool looking. Many of my clothes are from high school or beginning of college and I'm tired of wearing them, yet they are 'intact' and I feel like I shouldn't get rid of them. I wanted a 4th shirt, but already felt like I went overboard on the 3. I also got some shampoo and conditioner, as anything sold in regular stores never works for me. Both are things I need, but I considered putting them back as I was going to pay...this happens a ton...I get something I want, head to the register, and put the thing back as panic sets in.
I then went and got a 1/2 off pillow since I can't sleep at night EVER and $20 shoes that look really cool--sporty ones that are navy with lime green accents. Of course, getting the dough out of the wallet made me think, 'do I REALLY need these or can i live without?' What is my problem?
I haven't gotten a CD in a LONG time it seems and I feel like I don't get much for me. I'm always thinking of my car, which has its issues, my HUGE loan debt, and the fact that I work at a frustrating job for no money and end up wearing shoes 3 years before I get new ones, using sheets until they are faded or worn, wearing shirts that have dulled and make me wonder if people are going, "how long HAS he had that shirt, anyway?" I hate vanity and I care about others who aren't fortunate, making me even feel guilty for bitching right now. So much of what I get I return for a cheaper version or get money and be 'responsible', paying bills.
Well, these are my thoughts, let me know yours.
Stephen

PS-I can't enter the poetry thing, cuz I haven't been published in a 'big enough' source...screw that idea I guess.

Song of the Day: "Sing" by Travis.